Marriages and madness

 

Of the many wattsapp forwards I receive everyday one that I got a couple of days back set off my thinking nerves jingling in all directions. It was a video clip of a news report carried by a local TV channel, on a wedding in Uppaka Village of Bhadradri Kothagudem a district in Telangana. It was a video clip of a pitched battle between the brides and grooms family. The reason for the skirmish was the Girl’s family not serving mutton to the guests. Of all the reasons I have heard since I understood the concept of a wedding and the tradition of not disappointing the grooms family’s demands this was the weirdest. According to the report the trouble started when the groom’s party was being served the wedding feast and one of the guests asked for mutton curry, the person who was serving a relative of the girl’s replied there was only chicken curry and no mutton. At this the guest got annoyed and abused the girl’s side, the server replied in the same tone and hot and harsh words were exchanged between the guests of both sides. Within no time more of the grooms and brides family and friends joined in the argument and it degenerated into a free for all with fists, chairs and tables being used as weapons. Finally peace prevailed on the intervention of the village elders and the marriage solemnised and the girl sent off to her inlaws home.

Marriages are said to be made in heaven and solemnised on earth. But I guess it is beyond even Gods immense capabilities to match the temperament of both the grooms and brides family members. If God made matches keeping all the variables of the myriad relatives in the equation, it would make many couples married life a true bliss. Failing that we mere mortals have to live with the failings of our respective sides inability to meet the high standards to which our respective inlaws and their entourage of relatives expect the marriage to be solemnised. I still remember my grandmother telling my aunt how in her marriage I mean my aunts, her parents gifted my grandmother gold earnings when in all the marriages that year the groom’s mother was given a gold chain. Poor aunt she had to bear with this complaint for nearly two decades till my grandmother left for her heavenly abode. I am sure almost all families have a similar tale of unmet expectations in their repertoire of marital grievances.

Forget the material expectations it is the other incidents where the expectations of the guests and the extended families are not met and their antics to show displeasure while still being a part of the wedding festivities that make our Indian marriages events to remember for years. The bua and pupaji who sulk during all the rituals are passé as are the uncles and aunts who take grudge on the youngsters not paying them enough attention or listening to their advice on the correct way of doing things. The most common incidents where mountains were made of molehills is to do with as the was in the wedding in Uppaka village to do with food and wine.

 

When one of my husband’s cousins was getting married, the girls family categorically stated that they will serve vegetarian fare on the wedding day and no alcohol would be allowed. Now in our community liquor with kebabs and biryani and dum ka murg is de rigeur, it is more important than the pandit performing the marriage. Though the Grooms father was OK with this the other members of the family were not and made alternate arrangements. The practice today for the baraat procession is to start from the grooms side, where the people dance and go for about a hundred metres or so and then disband and gather again at a location near the wedding hall where the baraat reassembles and walk in to the wedding venue. In this case the baraat was to reassemble in front of a cousins home. And he made the necessary kebab and sharab arrangements for all the groom’s guests. As scheduled the baraat started from the grooms house and after a brief spell of dancing to the band everyone disbanded and went to the venue where the baraat was to reassemble. Now all the baraatis went into the cousins house leaving the groom along with a few kids in the flower bedecked car sitting on the road waiting for the rest of the baraat to come refreshed and start the walk to the function hall. It speaks a lot of the cousins hospitality that the grooms entourage of cousins, uncles, and friends had such a rollicking time that they forgot the poor groom sitting on the road in all his finery. After waiting for more than a hour the frustrated and angry groom called his brother in law and threatened to come inside and join them if the baraat did not start immediately. After this threat the barati’s slowly trickled out and the baraat reached the venue around mid night.

A year later my nephew got married and his inlaws laid down the same no nonveg and no liquor rule for the marriage day. To avoid the similar fate as his uncle, my nephew had the brilliant idea of organising starters and liquor in the cars in the parking lot of the function hall. Accordingly a special area in the parking lot was set aside for these special cars and leaving no scope for error the nephew also applied for and received liquor permission for the marriage, though without his inlaws knowing about it. Everything was fine till the baraat reached the wedding venue, however as soon as the groom disembarked from the decked up car and was escorted to the welcome area almost all the baraati’s abandoned the groom and went off in search of the cup that cheers. While the youngsters converged at the cars in the parking lot where arrangements were made the older generation made off to the hotels and homes nearby where arrangements were made for them. The poor groom who was expecting the usual playfulness and teasing and light hearted fun at the Jaimal had the company of his old aunts and young pre teens and the whole exercise was over in a few minutes instead of the usual half hour of puns and good natured ribbing between the girls and grooms side. Finally when the wedding rituals were nearing completion the baraati’s returned flushed with cheer and happiness to bless the couple and take the baraat home.

The most hilarious though embarrassing wedding reception that people still recall with shudders was held a few years back. The grooms father a teetotaller refused to entertain any suggestions on serving liquor. And the groom being a teetotaller himself fully agreed with his father. Some of the younger generation refused to comply with the hosts rules and made surreptitious arrangements for liquor in their cars. Even as the reception was in full swing, there was a commotion that the task force had raided the venue for illegal consumption and serving of liquor. All the youngsters and a few of the elders who were surreptitiously enjoying a drink in the obscurity of the cars started running and hiding. The police confiscated and the liquor from the cars and was taking the grooms father into custody when some of the seniors intervened and others called in their contacts in the police force and the Government to pacify and settle the issue. Finally after more than an hour of pleading and the use of influence the situation was  defused and the police departed after confiscating the liquor bottles and collecting a fine and warning to not repeat the mistake in future. It transpired later that most of the invitees knowing the hosts nature had made their own arrangements with their respective friends and most of the cars were being used as bar counters with snacks being commissioned from the reception spread. It is still a mystery as to who gave a tipoff to the police on liquor being consumed. Even today when this incident is recalled it has people catching their stomachs doubled over with laughter recollecting the stalwarts of the community running to hide from the police in their pristine suits and sherwanis.

 

To live or die

Almost all religions speak of the day the world will end and go on to describe in detail the spine chilling events that will unfold before it happens, and almost all of us except the doomsayers strongly believe it is somewhere in the distant future when we will all be dust. However, for the Indian middle class doomsday seems to have come slowly and silently and now has them firmly in its grasp with nowhere to go except wait out the end.

Everything was going good till March when the first cases of Carona virus were diagnosed and the Nation along with the rest of the world went into a collective shock fearing imminent death in hordes. Then the lockdown was announced and we all breathed a sigh of relief and entrenched ourselves in our houses and went out to fight the scourge with clapping, singing and burning diyas. While we were waiting for our victory over carona, the virus first stuck us from the rear which no one anticipated not the Government nor the high ranking economists  or the advisors in their ivory towers, the first casualty were the migrant workers who in a few hours lost their livelihood, their shelter and also the means to go back home. While we were still grappling with the humongous tragedy unfolding before us, we dug deep into our pockets and donated what all we could spare to the PM’s and CM’s relief funds little knowing that son we will need aid and have no one to help us.

Even as we were trying to make the best of the unfolding pandemic, the second blow hit us when we received our salaries taking a cue from the Government many of the private companies cut back our salaries citing there was no income. And we learnt to do with less and folded back our wants and needs to adjust to the smaller pockets. A small relief was with the lockdown the petrol and other incidentals were reduced which along with our fortitude to take all setbacks in stride we managed to make do with half our income making do with rice and dal with the occasional novelty of vegetables thrown in. And thanked God that we atleast had food in our plates.

As we got used to frugal living and were getting comfortable in our near borderline life, the Government surrendered to the might of Carona and relaxed the Lockdown and opened all establishments. We went back to the workplace happy with the tought that though we may be exposed to the virus atleast with going back to work our families will be spared from the slow death of wants and needs. However the aftershocks of the lockdown have hit us with a knee breaking blow, though we were now going to work though only thrice a week the salarybeing doled out was still a fraction of the full some. And to top it off with the easing of the lockdown the first to come were the men from the Electricity department with their bills for 3 months of electricity consumed all calculated at the highest bracket and for most of us it was equal to six months of electricity bill which had to be paid in full at one go.

Even as we withdrew from our savings to pay the electricity bill and were going back to our frugal comfort when the next whammy came from the portals of learning and knowledge. The childrens school the nightmare started with an innocent watsapp message asking the school fees be paid, and the school administration was magnanimous in stating the annual fees could be paid in 3 or 4 installments instead of at one go. As we were trying to find out what we could sell or pawn to pay the fees when the reminder came that failure to pay the fees will mean the school would not be able to apy its teachers, now we were in a moral dilemma and taking the bold decision pawned a few tolas of gold to pay for the children’s school fees when the school again sent a reminder for the payment for the books. And even as we were dreading how we could generate this cash when the school messaged that due to the covid problem the school will be taking online classes and to organise for a computer for the children. And now here we are dreading how to survive a week leave alone a month on a curtailed salary, we have stopped using the TV and have just one light switched on at any time and the whole family sleeps in a single room so as to use just one fan, but all the money we save in electricity today is swallowed up at the petrol pump tomorrow with the daily increase in fuel price, when I go to fill my bike’s tank with its daily dose of half a pint. Like my family my bike too is living hand to mouth.

Where a few months back a couple of cases of corona in the city were enough to send the entire family into panic today we give just a cursory glance to the 1000 plus cases a day and putting on our mask go out into the world trying to make ends meet while keeping up the façade of middle class respectability and wellbeing. It is very well for the CM of the State to say don’t go to private hospitals but what other option is there, the Government frittered away precious time that we had since January to ramp up the medical infrastructure and recruit doctors and nurses and support staff in publicity stunts on showcasing preparedness that spoke of capacity to treat 1000’s of patients but which crumbled when the cases increased to a just few hundreds leave alone the 1000 and more that are being diagnosed everyday. And as we struggle in our fight against the virus and the avalanche of financial woes, the Government has wiped its hands off the people, and is busy demolishing buildings and closing down hospitals making money and filling up its coffers, leaving us to the mercy of God and fate. We do not know how many of us will survive this virus and can only pray that if we are afflicted to make the end short without putting our families under a financial burden that will take decades to overcome. 

India Parliament attacked by Seemandhra MP’s

Pakistan no longer needs to fund Organisations like the LeT, Indian Mujahideen and several others and incubate terrorists like Hafiz Saeed, Ajmal Kasab or others like them, for why waste time and effort and incur the wrath of the World, when its anti India agenda can be carried out by the likes of Lagadapati Rajagopal, Venugopal and others who can carry out armed attacks within the Parliament of India.

The attack on the Parliamentarians inside the House on 13, February 2014, with chemical sprays and knives led by Ladgapati Rajagopal and Venugopal is an act of war on the Indian Nation. Those carrying out these attacks need to be tried as traitors and anti-India arsonists and awarded the strictest sentence.

The people of India, cannot take this act of aggression on their Parliament lying down, we demand that the Speaker of the Lok Sabha file a case of criminal conspiracy against the Nation on these anti India elements, and they be arrested immediately for endangering the lives of the MP’s and  for carrying out an armed assault.

Lagdapati Rajagopal, Venugopal and the others should be awarded a life ban from contesting any election in India and from holding any Government or Constitutional post in India. The very fact that knives and chemical weapons were brought into the house, inspite of the heavy security and frisking of all personnel entering the Parliament, shows that the act was premeditated and other others are involved in smuggling in these weapons inside the parliament. A judicial enquiry should be instituted to investigate how the weapons were smuggled into the house and who else was involved in planning and carrying out this invasion of democracy.

The attack today was carried out with the aim of subjugating the will of the Parliament and forcing them 12^th of July 2006, after the deadly Mumbai train bombings, and refused to be bowed down by the acts of terrorists. So do the Parliamentarians need to defeat the very purpose of this attack and unanimously pass the T Bill. For to keep silent now or take any other action like opposing the bill or boycotting the parliament when it is to be passed will be to give victory to these arsonists and set a precedent for similar tactics to be employed for pressing demands in the future.

The Nation will be proud of you if you collectively defeat the objective of these anti India elements.

Jai Hind

Neera Kishore